Love and art have no room for common sense.
-Paraphrasing Akhbar
Wedding
Itinerary
Morning
Afternoon
Evening
Day 1 // November 3rd '22
10.00 AM - 11.00 AM
Welcome & Check-ins
Day 2 // November 4th '22
Day 3 // November 5th '22
Bou Bahuran Ceremony
11.00 AM
Check Out
Dress Code
We encourage every guest to express yourselves to the fullest (we will). Let this be the occasion to nudge you out of your comfort zones, experiment and sing out through your attire.
The ceremonies
An Indian wedding lies at the cusp of the union of lovers and the larger fusion of their two families, as they all meld into one epic unit of love and nourishment. Its celebration is an emotional performance of rituals, prayer, ceremonies, song and dance.
The Indian wedding with all its intricacies and nuances can be a lot to absorb. To help you make sense of the ceremonies, steps that we take, where they come from and why every little movement happens the way it does. Here is a brief write-up of all that is to come. For us it is very important that we are all part of the rituals and ceremonies and also understand what they are about to fully be present.
Hopefully, it helps you have a deeper appreciation for the rituals and better prepare you to be a witness of the marvel, that is, a Traditional Indian Wedding with the flare and art that is Doyel and Neil.
Day 1, morning: Mehendi
The Mehndi is one of the ‘solah shringar’/ 16 steps of adornment of a Bride as she prepares for marital bliss. In this ceremony, intricate designs of henna paste are used to beautify the hands and feet of the bride and groom, amidst prayer, song and dance. The intensity of the henna stain is considered auspicious and signifies the deep love between the couple. Sometimes their stories are painted in, within the intricate Mehendi designs. And henna being a traditional cooling agent for the body, helps as the couple warms up for the rest of the wedding festivities.
Guests too are invited to join the bride and groom to have their hands adorned and be part of their joy.
Dress code: Mehendi Dress Code: The art of Colour Blocking // An ode to this country’s flare for colour
The theme of the morning is Colour Blocking, the use of contrasting blocks of solid, typically bright colours in a single outfit. You are welcome to wear your choice of garb; a lehenga, a pantsuit, dresses, gowns, sarees, and kurtas. etc but they must be in colour blocks. Imagine bright blue with yellow, or red with pink. A quick google search is recommended for ideas. The idea is to explore colour, choose opposing blocks of shades and wear some fascinating combinations. The outfit can remain the same until the evening dance party!
Day 1, afternoon: Tilak of the groom & Godbharai of the bride
Wedding ceremonies change with every few miles in India, such is the diversity of this country. But the point of commonality remains the hopes and aspirations of ancestors and the reverence accorded to them by their next generations. No tradition is complete without the involvement of the elders, their blessings and their guidance. The Tilak and Godbharai are prime instances of such traditions. They are elaborate ceremonies of love and blessings. The elders from both sides come together to bless the individuals before the marriage unites the two souls.
Tilak: Tilak means a mark. With Sanskrit mantras filling the air, a priest prepares vermilion to be applied to the Grooms' forehead. The elders of the Bride’s family (typically the grandfather of the bride) are called upon to perform the ‘Tilak’ - applying a mix of vermilion and rice to the groom's forehead. This is the official welcome by the bride’s ancestors for the groom.
Then the bride’s family showers him with blessings and gifts as a sign of their love and respect.
Godbharai: It means filling one’s jholi or lap, in this case, the bride’s and the groom’s. Following the tilak ceremony, the bride and groom are escorted by their entourage of siblings and friends to where the groom's family (typically the groom's Mother) fills their lap with gifts. These gifts are personifications of the blessings and the love of the elders.
Dress code: stays the same
Day 1, evening: Sangeet/ Mehfil, Cocktail and Dinner
Sangeet means music. It translates to 'sung together' from Sanskrit. The Sangeet is where the party actually begins at an Indian Wedding! Its sole focus is to celebrate the upcoming marriage with as much gusto as possible. Folk dancers and musicians start the night off, followed by further performances by family and friends that mimic the couple’s story. After this, the DJ takes over and the floor is open for the guests to jig away the night.
Dress Code: // Formal and Suave
Think ‘Gala night’! Big gowns, extravagant dresses, pant-suits, sarees, lehangas, sharp tuxedos, gorgeous kurtas with shalwars, bandhgalas, anything goes, but we encourage you to go over the top. Elegance and extravagance are the tropes for the night!
Day 2, sunrise: Pitra Puja
Pitra means father, and this worship is to call on the blessings of the forefathers. The Puja or the act of worship is performed before sunrise. Photos of the forefathers are set up and the ancestry of the bride and groom are honoured in prayer. Their grandparents and great grandparents, ones alive and ones who’ve moved beyond our mortal sphere, are called upon to bless the couple and their union.
This is performed by the groom's side only.
Day 2, morning: Haldi
Haldi or turmeric plays a big role in any Indian household. So big that it has an entire ceremony named after it. This ceremony is essentially a ritual bath to purify the body and soul of the bride and groom. The air is filled with traditional, local sangeet (music), while Haldi paste is lovingly applied on the couple’s forehead, arms and legs by their family and dear ones, as a sign of blessing their union. The use of Haldi is for the purification of the couple entering into holy matrimony. It is believed to protect them from bad omens. Other than being a natural antiseptic, Haldi is a natural remedy for headaches and anxiety so it is also meant to calm the nervous pair before their big day.
The ceremony will be let to transition into an intimate spectacle of Holi playing. Colours and dancing galore!
Dress Code: Sarso ke khet // Fields of mustard
To complement the ceremony, guests will be provided with saffron sarees and saffron kurtas to join the couple in their merriment. You are requested to arrange for your choice of a blouse (A traditional top worn with a saree drape. Can be a top/shirt style of your choice) and a petticoat (an underskirt worn under a saree to help hold the drape in place. Usually, the petticoat colour should be the same as the saree. Some contemporary forms of the saree have sometimes replaced the petticoat with a pair of pants) to go with the saree and pyjamas/ churidars/ shalwars (traditional Indian pants that are narrow around the ankles, worn under kurtas) to go with the kurta.
Fair warning, the event involves natural colours and turmeric, so make sure you wear what you wouldn’t mind seeing some colour splattered on! The event is aimed to look like one big, joyous ‘Sarso ka khet’ or a Field of Mustard.
P.s. All colours used can be easily washed off in a simple soap bath after the event. Natural colours will not stain your body.
Day 2, after lunch: Chaak - Bhaat
Chak: The Chak Puja is a unique little ritual. It is the worship of the potter’s wheel. And one might wonder what a potter’s wheel has to do with a wedding but the links lie in history. Linkages in Indian and Sumerian civilisations indicate the humble potter’s wheel originated here. A simple wheel helped make pots and utensils, which could store food and water, and in turn, brought stability to these civilisations. Thus the epitome of stability and settlement, a marriage, isn’t complete without a small performance of reverence for the simple Potter’s wheel. Moreover, the wheel is also the Hindu symbol of the Dharmachakra - the representation of order and routine that is the path to peace. Women of the family pray to the ‘chak’ or potter’s wheel, paying respect to food, sustenance and domestic order and peace.
Bhaat: Bhaat or Bhaat Bharna is a symbol of a brother’s love for her sister. Bhaat Bharna means ‘to fill with rice’ and rice here stands not just for the food, but also gifts and blessings that the bride is to be ‘filled with’ by her maternal uncles.
Traditionally, brothers take the responsibility of their sister, and this includes lending a helping hand when she prepares for her children’s weddings. During the Bhaat Bharna, the mother of the bride invites her brothers who come bearing blessings, with a priest helping to guide the ritual.The eldest brother first gifts his sister an odhni (traditional scarf) and then they move on to showering her daughter, the Bride, with food, blessings and gifts. The maternal family offers her all the help she might need for a memorable wedding. It is believed that the brothers will earn ‘punya’ or holy merit when they help their sister with her daughter’s wedding.
The mother of the bride is elated that her brothers, who have been her pillar of strength all her life, are now here to bless her next generation, that is, her daughter, the bride.
Day 2, afternoon: Baraat
The highlight of the evening is the Groom’s wedding procession, the Baraat. This is peak production value at any wedding! The groom rides in on a mare/elephant, flanked by his family, friends, music and lights, also known as the ‘Band-Baaja’. The sounds of drums and music fill the air and the crowd is drunk with happiness as they guide the groom to the wedding venue, where his bride awaits. This merry bunch often takes its sweet time to arrive and the mother of the bride welcomes the groom by pulling his nose for being too late. She puts Tilak on his forehead, performs aarti (a small prayer with a traditional lamp), measures his chest and welcomes him to join her daughter.
Baraat Dress Code: Certified Ceremonial Cultural Couture (The 4 Cs)
Calling all your lehengas, your sherwanis, the sarees, the dhotis, the kurtas, the suits and the gowns. We encourage you to turn to your best traditional pieces for this main event. A good place to start would be to imagine yourself to be Indian royalty and then pick out your outfit for the night!!
The outfit can remain the same for the rest of the night!
Day 2, afternoon: Varmala
One of the most important ceremonies of an Indian wedding is the Varmala or Garland exchange between the Bride and the Groom. A ceremony most awaited and most celebrated. It is a graceful barter of garlands between the bride and the groom signifying an embrace of body and soul. Amidst family and friends, it is a performance of love. The Garlands are threaded with fresh and pious blooms signifying beauty, zeal and oneness. And their exchange mirrors the two partners’ acceptance of each other; an acceptance that is unconditional, irrevocable and absolute.
Day 2, evening: Kanyadaan and Pheras
Kanyadaan is a ceremony that has been much talked about. While some argue against the parochial nature of it, but when you scratch the surface, it is a ceremony that tugs at the heartstrings that bind a father and his daughter. It originated as a practice wherein the parents of the Bride take the promise of her well-being and eternal happiness from the groom. In a symbolic gesture, the father passes on the responsibility of his daughter’s happiness at the standard at which he maintained it or more, while they take their ‘pheras’ or turns around the holy fire/Agni. This he does with as much joy as much as the sadness he has of watching her grow up and leave the nest. In front of the Agni, the bride and the groom’s hands are joined by a sacred thread. The Bride’s father (or both her parents) place their hand on that of the couple’s, blessing the union and performing the Kanyadaan. The groom then places his hand on the bride's shoulder, taking the responsibility for her well-being.
From here on the bride and groom do not let go of each other, as they move on to perform the Pheras.
The Varmala and Pheras together make up the true essence of an Indian Wedding. Pheras are the ritual rounds the couple takes around the sacred fire. A Priest facilitates this, adding 7 vows for the Bride and Groom, with each of the 7 turns they take. These ‘Saat Pheres’ are prayers to the lord for Provision & Nourishment, Strength & Togetherness, Prosperity, Progeny, the well-being of the Families, Health, and Love & Friendship. Their loved ones cheer on and shower them with flowers as they complete the pheras, at the end of which, the bride and groom are officially bound together for what Indians believe is ‘Saat Janam’ or seven lifetimes.
After the Pheras, the bride sits on the left side of the groom, the side closer to his heart. Across the parting of her hair, the groom applies sindoor or vermilion, a symbol of devotion and belonging, a deep red mark on the forehead of a married woman.
Day 2, evening: Bedai
The bride is now a wife and new life awaits her. Bedai is the farewell to her family, an emotional juncture of a daughter’s life as she comes undone, before becoming whole again with her husband. With this the couple bids adieu to their parents, families and the wedding grounds.
Day 3, morning: Bou Boron
The Bou Boron is a ritual performed by the Groom’s family to welcome the new bride or the ‘notun bou’. Traditionally, it takes place at the groom’s house, but here, it will be done at the venue symbolically. In this ceremony, the mother of the groom does ‘Aarti’ to welcome the Bride. A brass plate is kept near the entrance, full of rose petals and ‘Alta’, a traditional red ink, a symbol of fertility and prosperity, that is used to paint hands and feet. And a long white cloth is laid along the entrance. The Bride enters the house after dipping her feet in the Alta and walks across the white cloth, leaving distinct red footprints on the cloth. Her first steps into the groom’s house is preserved this way.
The bride is blessed by the elders and gifted jewellery, specifically with a ‘loha’, a traditional iron bangle decorated with gold.
Dress Code: // Alta and Ivory
Traditional red and white saris will be arranged for the members of the groom’s family. Feel free to where what you like - traditional is recommended.
TRAVEL GUIDE
We encourage you to reach the venue on the 3rd Nov22 by 10 am to experience the full warm Rajasthani welcome!
The town Mandawa can be reached via 2 airports
1. Jaipur : Jaipur International Airport (JAI) - 151 kms from Mandawa (2.5 hour drive )
2. Delhi : Indira Gandhi International Airport (DEL) - 259 kms from Mandawa ( 5.5 hour drive )
1) Board a mini bus organised by us in Jaipur on 3rd morning
or
2) Book a cab/ private car from Jaipur or Delhi
We suggest guests to be in Jaipur by the 2nd evening and drive over to Mandawa on the 3rd early morning.
Remember - check in is 10-11AM at the castle in Mandawa
You have 2 options for Jaipur > Mandawa.
You also have options for Delhi > Mandawa
IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO BOARD THE BUS ON 2ND MORNING FROM JAIPUR TO MANDAWA OR BOOK A PRIVATE CAR PLEASE CONTACT ADITI NITINAS
ADITI NITINAS : Whatsapp // +91 9819521571
ADITI WILL BE ABLE TO GUIDE YOU FURTHER
Wedding Gift
Dear family and friends,
Neil and I are very grateful for you wanting to give us presents for our wedding.
Our relationship is based on the notion that as individuals and partners we want to create impact through our work. To that end, we ask only of your love and presence but if a present is your desire, we would be honoured with a donation to a specific art-fund. There is no better present than to enable expression for us, we would like for you to donate towards the fund with which we will be financing different artistic contributions and artists participating in the wedding installations.
The proceeds thereby go into wedding and bring other artists, thinkers, speakers, outliers a platform to showcase the work.
We're happy about any contribution.
For Europe: Paypal link
For India: Howareyoufeeling. UPI / Bank details
For India
Doyel Girdharilal Joshi
Account no
59105910910100
IFSC CODE
HDFC0000182
